It’s the time to ponder deeper about the quintessential of leadership--especially inclusive leadership, and the influence, strength, mindset, authentication, balance, and character it could bring up to harness progressive changes.
I participated in hundreds of conferences across different continents. The majority of staff, especially female professionals from event facilitators, were very friendly and supportive. However, I met a few narrow-minded gate keepers who left me some unpleasant experiences. especially when I traveled a long way to go to the conference.
Below are common “female gatekeeper” symptoms/behaviors people sometimes describe from a leadership or management perspective.
Lack of authority: Usually the gate keeper staff can make certain decisions. But a few times, some female gatekeepers seem hesitant to make their own decisions, enhancing bureaucratic hierarchy, causing delays or creating hassles.
Inflexible or unfriendly attitudes: The majority of conferences have very professional onsite support services; But one conference I went to recently made me very upset as only one lady yelled at people without any support. I complained to her as this was a creative conference that should be more open minded. But she said she was the only person in charge, with an unprofessional arrogant attitude. That made me very upset.
Unprofessional Intervening: One time, I just chatted with one staff member, the other lady came by to interrupt us unprofessionally, saying the capacity was full and turned down many reasonable requests without good excuses.
Knowledge Silo: Many times I participated in conferences across the industry sectors. Sometimes the female gate keepers had silo mindsets, not welcoming people from different industries with narrow-minded attitudes. But we cannot connect the wider dots, how can we reinvent those traditional industries?
Symptoms & Root Causes of Unprofessional Gate Keepers: In many organizations, there are different types of unprofessional gate keepers:
-Information control: Share updates only with “favored” people or certain teams. Withhold context, decisions, or rationale (“I’ll tell you later” / “You wouldn’t understand”). Use “need-to-know” language inconsistently to limit access.
Opportunity throttling: Doesn’t recommend certain individuals for stretch roles, visibility, or high-profile projects. Blocks nomination, speaking slots, promotions, or mentorship opportunities—sometimes indirectly.
Message steering / narrative control: Reframes others’ work so their own influence looks stronger. Changes how leadership “hears” someone else’s performance (selective quoting, omission of facts). Creates confusion about priorities or who is responsible for what.
Over-credentialing and “moving goalposts”: Require extra steps only for particular people. Complain about readiness while offering no coaching or path to get ready. Set expectations that don’t match how the same work is evaluated for others.
Relationship-based access (favoritism patterns): Build strong insider networks and treats outsiders as “not part of the loop.” Offer guidance privately while publicly discouraging collaboration. “Tests loyalty” before sharing resources. Delay tactics Postpones approvals, feedback, or decisions until a window passes. Slow-walks access to tools, budgets, approvals, or stakeholders.
Psychological safety reduction. Uses fear, sarcasm, intimidation, or public correction to discourage initiative. Discourage questions or challenges to the status quo (“Don’t question me”). Makes people self-censor to avoid backlash.
Collaboration friction: Encourages teams to compete rather than coordinate. Breaks cross-functional trust by blaming other groups for delays or failures.
Selective accountability: Hold some people to strict standards while overlooking others’ gaps. Defend their own decisions as “strategic” but frame others’ actions as “careless” or “risky.”
Resistance to transparency and shared processes : Doesn’t support common documentation, shared dashboards, or clear decision logs. Avoid publishing criteria for promotions, assignments, or performance reviews.
Cultivate a culture of Open-mindedness with the right leadership signals to take seriously
-Multiple team members report the same access/promotion/visibility barriers.
-Patterns persist even after communication training or clarified processes.
-“Performance” feedback is vague, inconsistent, and not linked to a clear growth plan.
It’s the time to ponder deeper about the quintessential of leadership--especially inclusive leadership, and the influence, strength, mindset, authentication, balance, and character it could bring up to harness progressive changes.
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