Saturday, May 30, 2015

An Anti-digital Mind: An Excessively “Angry” Mind

Anger is not innate, but, it is a learned habit. Humans are not born to be angry.

It’s normal as humans, we have all sorts of emotions, but how you react to them decides your EQ maturity level. From example, according to American Psychology Association, “Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong. Anger can be a good thing. It can give you a way to express negative feelings, or motivate you to find solutions to problems. But excessive anger can cause problems. Increased blood pressure and other physical changes associated with anger make it difficult to think straight and harm your physical and mental health.” The point is what antidote are you using to counteract your angry reaction and your habit to pull the trigger?

Anger comes from frustration, impatience, and many other environmental factors. All of those are about control or lack of control. We spend a lot of energy trying to address those things that we cannot control raising frustration, etc. This energy is therefore not used on the lower stressed, less frustrating things that we can control. When the balance of control vs. out of control is significantly unbalanced toward "out of our control," anger is a natural and instinctive reaction. We need to be aware of the balance. Emotions are caused by neuropeptides in the brain which at their root are simply data. What we feel - anger, loathing, joy, love - is the physical manifestation of these neuropeptides. Each emotion has its own neuropeptides. If we nurture these feelings and our subsequent reactions to them, we create automatic behavioral responses. They become habitual responses - what fires together in a neurological sense, wires together.

Anger is not innate, but, it is a learned habit. Humans are not born to be angry. To what extent an individual feels and displays anger is highly dependent upon the extent to which this learned ability has been nurtured over time by beliefs and biases. Try examine those negative thoughts objectively and with detachment "as a cloud floating by." Viktor Frankl said it best when he wrote: "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. "Everyone sees for themselves when they do reflect on the why and where of the origins the incendiary emotion we call anger. Why do I make myself angry, because I am trying to control what I cannot control other people and events, why am I trying to control other people and events, because I am carrying a 'viral belief' (nothing to do with chemicals) that other people and situations are responsible for my happiness. This is why whenever you make yourself angry, irritation and frustration are simply earlier forms of anger! Why because you are trying to control change, what you can never change other people and events. Fortunately, all anger always passes and sanity generally returns. You can't stay angry, try it and you'll start laughing after a while.

People need time to unplug, breathe, understand and label their emotions. Self-awareness is key. Some people will become addicted to the anger itself. But emotional addiction is also not rooted in chemicals. It has an effect on the chemicals in the brain for sure. But the cause is always in consciousness or unconsciousness. But few realize that until they practice some kind of meditation at which point the state of consciousness that is capable of being beyond time and space where the brain must always remain. You need to take the time to understand your triggers. You may not always be able to control them, but you can modify actions and respond vs react over time with practice. It is possible to learn new responses to these chemical triggers. The process is not simple or easy or one size fits all. Instead, each individual must work out his or her response through trial and error. When you find something that works, nurture it through practice and repetition and it will form a new habit. What fires together, wires together. The reverse is also true. If you are not repeating behaviors that create poor outcomes, the new behaviors will take their place and the old ones will be culled by the brain through a process called neuroplasticity.

Recharge. Rest. Renew. Know yourself. Learn from experience. Make any necessary change.
The spectrum of anger is an indicator light to circle back around and continue to learn from the whole experience, from self-awareness to self-control, practice patience, listening, observing, acceptance, vulnerability, and forgiveness. It matters that you take action to notice what you are doing in response to what you are experiencing as you are the only person who can change a negative habit. Any learned ability can be unlearned. It is in our power to do so. Rather than looking for the panacea or motivational advice, it can only be unlearned through total commitment. Total commitment requires desire, determination, and discipline. These three essentials are indispensable as well as complimentary to make change sustainable.


Nice to see you here! When I 1st time signed up for this therapy company about six weeks ago, I was struggling with codependent relationships. I kept finding myself in relationships with my lovely girlfriend, who were emotionally abusive and would end up leaving me (you can also read an article about "signs of toxic mother" here). So now I went from feeling intolerable amounts of emotional pain to generally feeling strong, confident, healthy and more positive then ever before.

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